Dear Parents,
It was such a joy to see the children back in Yeshiva this week, excited to face the opportunities and challenges of the next step of their young lives. Adjustment from summer relaxation to school structure is a longer process for some than others, but we look ahead with optimism to great growth and accomplishment.
It was such a joy to see the children back in Yeshiva this week, excited to face the opportunities and challenges of the next step of their young lives.This week’s Parsha contains a message that is central to children’s success, in and out of school. In presenting one of the most unusual areas of halacha contained in the Torah, that of Egla Arufa, we find a fascinating ritual that bespeaks a foundational truth of human conduct.
A body is found in a place removed from a center of habitation. Evidence on the scene indicates the person was murdered, R’L. The assumption immediately arises that someone, somewhere bears responsibility because they could have done something to have avoided a circumstance leading to the person’s tragic demise. The Torah immediately zones in on the Torah leaders of the surrounding communities. The Beis Din HaGadol in Yerusholayim, no less, is called upon to measure the distance to determine the closest community.
Once that is determined, it becomes incumbent upon the leading Rabbonim of the closest town to perform the ritual of Egla Arufa. They are required to absolve themselves of responsibility for this unknown person’s demise by declaring – “our hands did not shed this blood.” This is astounding. What society in the world places blame for the murder of a lowly wayfarer, attacked in anonymity in a desolate area, not within their direct jurisdiction, upon the community’s officials?
Do we really believe the great Rabbis shed the blood of an innocent person?!That is precisely the question asked by Rashi. (Devarim 21:7) Do we really believe the great Rabbis shed the blood of an innocent person?! Rashi explains that of course they bear no direct responsibility. However, were there indirect causes that they could have done something about? The Rabbonim need to declare that they were unaware of this person’s presence in their town, for if they had been, they would have sent the person with food and an escort on his way out of town.
Our late Rosh HaYeshiva, HaGaon HaRav Alter Chanoch Henoch Leibowitz, zt’l points out this unusual assertion reveals a fundamental human principle. While food perhaps could have provided some nourishment to enhance one’s strength, of what help would an escort have been when the wayfarer was confronted by a murderer? He either possessed sufficient strength and ability to ward off a physical attack, or not. How would being provided with an escort out of town have made any difference? Apparently, it would have made a significant difference.
We see from here that being valued, being paid attention to by others and shown the respect that an escort would have provided could have spelled the difference between this unfortunate person’s ability to ward off his attacker, or to succumb to the attack. The critical factor was how self-assured the person felt about himself. Had the Rabbonim been aware that such a person was passing through their town and they did not provide that boost in self-confidence, a level of responsibility for his unfortunate demise could be placed at their feet.
We adults bear responsibility to provide our children with honest, sincere positive messages about how special they are.What a lesson for parents and mechanchim! Helping our children feel good about themselves, their abilities, talents, interests and accomplishments are key to developing strong, healthy individuals! We adults bear responsibility to provide our children with honest, sincere positive messages about how special they are. If we focus on all the `annoying’ things children do (which they do because it is natural and normal for children to do those things) we are sending constant messages that they are not so good, even that their essence is not particularly good and they are not especially worthy of being appreciated, respected, or even helped.
As we look for ways to fulfill our and our children’s hopes and dreams for the new school year, this message is paramount. We guide, correct, discipline and enforce rules. We teach and role model, and show humility and care for others. On top of this is the real Chinuch of building the child, by showing him respect and appreciation. B’ezras Hashem this will build a strong, self-assured Eved Hashem who will feel deeply the importance of serving Hashem and doing their best in every action and thought, with conviction, resistant to outside temptations and pressures, in accordance with the dignity and self-respect he has for himself.
May the new school year be filled with growth, learning, strength and Nachas.
Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Rabbi Kalman Baumann
